Yes, I am talking about the mother-in-law today, in honor of her upcoming visit to my house. Blech.
Can you tell I’m all excited about this?
When we were stationed down South, my hubs put in for the northeast because, and I quote, “My father isn’t doing well and they think he only has a year to live. So, this is as close as I could get to home.” I wasn’t thrilled about moving up here, only 2 hours away from his parents, but I understood his desire and was mentally bracing for the time when we had to bury his father.
Six f’in years later and he’s still freaking alive and I’ve been stuck here…..only 2 hours away from the woman that spawned my husband.
The only way that I can think to illustrate how horrible she has been to me and the children is to tell a little about her, her grandkids and me, in little stories that will have you shaking your head at her behavior.
My hubby and I got married 16 years ago. I tried very hard to be a good little daughter-in-law. Helping out around their house when we went to visit because it was expected. Cleaning the kitchen and making her nice things when I learned to knit. But she never liked me. She talked about me behind my back and always had something mean to say about me: my hair, my clothes, my family.
I told my husband that she didn’t like me and he would always run and say something and she would come to me and hug me and say, “Of course I love you. Why would you think I don’t?” Oh, I don’t know…maybe because you never have anything nice to say about me. Maybe because you blame my son’s autism on me and my “bad blood.” Maybe because you keep telling my husband that I’m cheating on him, with no proof or knowledge one way or the other. Maybe because you sit there and gossip about me around the dining room table.
And the way she treats my kids. She never, ever calls and asks about them. She never comes down for a visit. She never sends birthday cards. She never calls on their birthday. She treats my youngest like he has the plague. In fact, last summer she and my father-in-law took the boys for a two week vacation. Pretty awesome, right? Well, considering that she has taken her other two grandkids to Disney World four times and never invited my kids along took some of the shine off of the vacation to Williamsburg, VA. While I’m sure that Williamsburg is charming, it doesn’t really hold a candle to Disney World, know what I’m saying?
By the first day of the vacation, they had called and said that they would never, ever take my youngest anywhere again. I can only imagine what hell they put him through for the rest of the week. My husband and I discussed it and decided that if they don’t take the youngest, they aren’t taking the oldest. When she mentioned something about this when she came to visit in August of last year, I told her that if she didn’t take “A” she wasn’t taking “J,” she stormed out of my house after yelling at me. Like she has any right to decide where my children go or who they go with.
My children have never been her favorites. I remember when my husband was in Korea (we were here by then) for a year. She never called to see how we were doing, she never came down to visit. I always had to go to her. So, I made the effort and went up there for Christmas. The number of presents that her granddaughter got compared to her other three grandsons (yeah, the boys just don’t measure up) was disgusting. We asked her one year to help us out (we were broke) for the kids school clothes. We asked if she could buy the boys one pair of jeans each. She said she didn’t have the money and then ran out and bought the granddaughter two new pair of shoes (she already has more shoes than I do), a new outfit and a new purse (yeah, she has about 50 of those, too).
No better way to illustrate that you don’t love my children as much as you love the granddaughter.
Then, when my husband told her that he had asked for a divorce, she told him that I had told his friend that I was cheating on him. He called to get confirmation from this friend and she told him (of course) that I hadn’t said anything of that nature to her and why would I? Caught his mother in a bald faced lie. Because that’s how she is about me. Any little thing that she can do to drive a wedge.
My mother-in-law has diabetes. She stops taking her medicine when she wants attention from the family and lands herself in the hospital where she expects everyone to come visit her. The first time she did this, she had a blood sugar level of over 700 (amazing that she didn’t end up in a coma) and played queen in her hospital room when we dropped everything to run to her side. We walked in and the kids and my hubby gave her a hug. She looked at me, held out her arms and said, “Don’t I get a hug?” I looked her dead in the eye and said, “I don’t reward bad behavior.” I then sat in the corner of the hospital room and said nothing to her for two days.
Cause I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of her lying and her crappy treatment of my children. I’ve had enough of her crappy treatment of my husband. She doesn’t send birthday cards to her own son. When he was promoted, she couldn’t be bothered to come down for his promotion ceremony. She never calls unless she is telling him (not asking) that she is going to come visit. Which is how this week’s visit came to be. She’s going to be here for 5 days. No thought to how this will disrupt our lives or if it’s convenient for us. Ridiculous.
You know, that’s another silver lining to this divorce. I may be forgotten, but so will she.
I can’t wait.