So, how would you handle this?

Wow, three blog posts in one day.  To my subscribers (few, but loyal) I apologize for all the emails.  But thing have been moving along at a good clip today.

So, the f*cktard my husband came out of the bathroom this evening and says, a bit defensively I might add, “I’m going to *undisclosed state* in September.  I don’t know for how long, but I’m going.”

Now, I know he’s going to visit the bitch his girlfriend.  What the hell am I supposed to do about that?

I cannot move out yet.  That is out of the question.  I have no job, no money and no resources.  I have to stay here.  As much as it pains me to say it, I can’t get away from this dickhead any faster than I’m managing right now.

Oh, believe me, I wish I could.

My first thought is to have the lawyer send a private investigator down and have pictures taken.  I think that this is the best course of action.  I don’t know if my state is a no-fault state, but I know that this will give me leverage with the military.

So, my second thought is to make sure I have copies of those pictures before he comes home.  He keeps saying he’s so close to retirement and he’s looking forward to getting out of the military.  Well, let’s make sure that the last few months of your time in the military are just peachy, huh?  I’m feeling a no-contact order coming on and maybe a little threatening from the JAG.

My  mother called me impulsive earlier tonight (which I sometimes am) but this one I have thought through.  I want that no-contact order in place until our divorce is final.  I definitely want it in place until I move out.  Maybe I can send those pictures and her information anonymously.  Then he won’t be able to link it back to me.

I can’t sleep at night because I dream of hurting him.  The other night I rolled over and had to physically tense up so that I wouldn’t just punch him right in his big, fat nose.

Maybe I can have the  military move him out until I move out.  Maybe that would be a good way to do it.

Well, since we’re dreaming, maybe he’ll die in a fiery car wreck on the highway and we’ll get his life insurance.  I’ll make sure to scatter his ashes over a sewage treatment plant.

It’s so much easier to be bitchy than weepy.  It’s sure a hell of a lot easier on my eyes.

Like I said, this being forgotten stuff is hard.  I just have to get through it.

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2 thoughts on “So, how would you handle this?

  1. I’ve caught up with your writings and I have a few thoughts.

    First, quit pretending anything with him. Stop being nice. He certainly isn’t nice to you and he does not deserve your kindness in any form, fake or otherwise. When he complains about work, if you can muster it, say “whatever” or “sucks being you” or something — or nothing. His comments about ANYTHING no longer require your response. You owe him nothing. You’ve already given him 16 years — and clearly that means nothing to him. So stop.

    Next, if you’re going to send the investigator to follow him and take pictures while he’s visiting the bitch do it (I would, that’s just to flippin good to pass up) BUT let that be it. Stop looking for stuff. You’ve got enough. Stop looking at his facebook page, stop looking at his emails, stop looking at the phone bills — it is only going to hurt your feelings more (I know you don’t think that’s possible), make you even more angry and make you a little off balance — because of the anger — and it will do nothing to him. You need to keep your mind clear and focused and unbridled rage at what you see on Facebook, read in a text, or see in an email will not allow you to be clear and focused.

    You know what you want to do — the documentation you’ve already acquired is sufficient to take him out. Quite literally. Let that be enough. Don’t let him zap you of the woman you are. He doesn’t care about you. But sincerely, as another divorced woman, I do. You have to get through this without compromising who you are — for your children (for yourself) and while I have no doubt that you WILL get through it, the less emotional bullshit you allow yourself to be a part of, the better off you’ll be.

    These are simply my thoughts and opinions. I will not think less of you for continuing on what ever path you choose — I will encourage you regardless.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day!

    • Thank you for your unflagging optimism and support. I truly appreciate it. I understand what you are saying and I agree. But it’s hard not to look. It’s hard not to see. As I type this, he is on his phone downstairs talking to her. I’m holed up in my bedroom because I can’t stand to be in the same room with him and I surely don’t want to hear what he is saying to her. I want to keep gathering evidence until I have the appointment with the lawyer next week because it only supports what I already have. However, after that time, I don’t think I’ll look anymore. You’re right, it’s too disturbing. It’s almost like a train wreck, though: you know it’s not going to be good, but you can’t help but look. As for Facebook, well, that crap comes up in my news feed. I think I’ll go block it, just not block him. I want access to his FB, just in case, but I don’t need to see this shit popping up in my news feed every time I open Facebook. And it invariably does. First thing in the morning, I’ll be slapped with something else. I’ve just had enough. I have recognized that I have reached a point where I cannot handle it anymore. Him stating, all matter-of-factly and defensively, that he was going to visit her was the last straw. I’m getting those pictures, I’m going to his Chief and I’m gonna put a stop to this crap as soon as I can. I just have to hold out a little while longer.

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