About a week ago, my husband went off the deep end acting like a fool. He was all pissy about some innocent email I had sent to a mutual friend of ours who happened to be male.
Yeah, like he has any right to get pissy. This was after he had screwed the bitch when he was gone for work.
The next day he apologized like it was nothing. “Sorry. I acted badly. I had no right to behave that way.”
Well, thanks for the apology, dickhead, but it’s a little late.
And, honestly, if you want to apologize for something, I have a list. Maybe you could start from the top and work your way down?
For 16 years this man has belittled me, made me feel stupid, told me I was fat, laid the blame for our child’s autism diagnosis at my feet, asked me questions about “boyfriends” when I didn’t have any, withdrew his love, kept his money where I couldn’t get at it and a litany of other things that have made my life not fun.
Not to say that the last 16 years have been just horrible, but they haven’t been smooth either. This divorce is the culmination of two people who should have probably never gotten married. And after seeing pictures of the bitch, I know he hooked up with me because I reminded him of her.
That’s quite a blow to the ego, isn’t it? He didn’t like me because he thought I was cute or beautiful but because I reminded him of another woman. Makes me wonder if the last 16 years have been all a lie.
Makes me wonder if I care.
Hey, but that’s OK. I’m in a place where my life is going to be so much better without him in it and I have two beautiful children that love me. I’ve raised them almost singlehandedly and they are my light and life.
Because I’m strong and I know that I can make it through this rough patch and that I will be stronger for it.
And, you know, honestly – I don’t want his damn apologies anyway. They mean nothing.
Just like he means nothing to me anymore.
Hey, maybe I’ll get the hang of this forgetting stuff yet.