Why am I panicking?

I knew this was coming. I knew that this is where we were headed.  I knew that it would come to this eventually.

So why am I panicking?  So he sent me a text saying that he was filing separation paperwork this week or next.  I mean, I have my lawyers appointment for Thursday, so I can beat him to the punch.

So why am I panicking?

Maybe because he has been calling all the shots?  Maybe because I’m afraid that the divorce won’t go my way?

Maybe because a teeny, tiny part of myself was hoping he’d call the whole thing off?

I don’t know.  What I do know is that the ambien will be welcome tonight.  I think I’m really gonna need it.

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