It’s been awhile…much has happened

Hello, all. I know I haven’t posted here for awhile.  I also know that I have paid my lawyer many thousands to tell me how to proceed during the divorce, but I feel like I need this therapeautic outlet and so I’m back.

Let’s see, what’s happened since I last posted?  He did go down and visit his girlfriend for 9 days.  Last time I checked in with you, he had sent a message to his girlfriend in North Carolina that he was coming to see her.  He had also put her address on his leave paperwork (which I made a copy of).  He also, as he really is just that stupid, left his Facebook open on the family computer.  It was a treasure trove of information for me.

I wish I could show you what I got.  Suffice it to say that her brain isn’t as big as her teeth and that she posted pictures of the two of them together on her Facebook page.  Because his page was open, I was able to get at what she had posted.  Yeah, who needs a private investigator when you are married to the biggest idiot in the world?

He got back and then we had this blowout fight.  It sucked and I have no desire to do that again any time soon.  He also told me that he had orders to move out of state, which put a serious kink in my plans.  So, I had to get my lawyer to file a lot sooner than I had hoped to do.

I filed 6 days before he did, which is helpful.  I was served by him first (he had gotten a lawyer at the beginning of October) because my paperwork got misplaced by the process server.  That totally sucked, but at least we filed first.  My financials should be filed next week before Thanksgiving, so that will also be helpful.

I’m trying to stay here because the kids need the continuity that I can offer them through their schools.  It would especially be hard on my oldest to move half way through his freshman year to a new state and new school.  I have a letter from his therapist and from his caseworker stating that.  I think I have all my ducks in a row.  Now I just need another $1000 for my lawyer.  Have no idea how I’m gonna come up with that, especially since I don’t have a job.

I live my life in a low level of constant anxiety. I totally freak when I think about what I’m going to be up against soon.  I hate the thought of all of this court stuff and the confrontations that it will bring.  We still live in the same house and I like to keep the arguing and whatnot to a minimum.  When he’s home I’m constantly on edge and I retreat to my bedroom at 9 to read and relax.  I can’t relax with him in the same room.

I have to give him kudos, though, for finally figuring out that his text messages were leaving a trail that Stevie Wonder could navigate solo.  He downloaded Yahoo messenger onto his phone and they are chatting that way now.  It doesn’t show up on the cell phone bill at all.  But the phone calls haven’t stopped between the two of them.

He’s taking the kids to his mother’s house for Thanksgiving.  On the one hand I’m thrilled that I don’t have to cook a turkey (I abhor turkey).  On the other hand, it’s the first time in almost 20 years that I won’t have cooked a Thanksgiving dinner and it’s the first time that I won’t have spent the holiday with my sons.  That’s going to be hard.

I started this blog with no backbone whatsoever.  I was truly feeling as though I was The Forgotten Wife.  Now, I’m out to make sure that I will be the Never Forgotten Wife.  I’m going to do whatever I can to make him remember me for a very, very long time.  That’s why I hired the best lawyer in New Jersey!

Till next time 🙂

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