The move – part 2

Now, y’all may be asking where the kids were when I was busy moving in.  Well, they wanted to stay with their dad in billeting until he left the base.  So, I had the weekend and Monday and Tuesday free and clear to unpack the house and get everything set up for the boys to move into their home.

It was very important to me that the place be set up as much as possible before they got here.  I wanted them to  move in and realize that this was a family space and one that we were all sharing together.  Yes, it’s a little cramped, being only two bedrooms and one bath, but it’s a nice house.  I wanted them to feel immediately at home.

To that end, Dad and I worked our butts off to get stuff where it needed to be.  All of the boxes had been thrown into the living room, dining room and attic.  Very haphazard and very unorganized.  So, we had to shift and move things.  On top of that, the place needed a good scrubbing.  Al is a great guy, but he wasn’t much for cleaning.  The place was dusty and had dog fur all over the place (he has 3 Jack Russel Terriers).

We unpacked the kitchen (what could fit), the youngest’s room, and the dining room.  We moved bookcases and such.  Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about moving a couch or television, as I was getting those at a later date from a friend of mine.  Basically, we busted ass.

Now, all of the time that I’m unpacking the house, the asshole was supposed to be cleaning the base house so that he could make his clearing appointment on Monday.  See, they come out and inspect the base house, much  like any landlord would when a tenant moves out.  We already knew that he would have to pay at least $300 for the carpet (the boys spilled red Kool-Aid on the carpet), but he needed to scrub the bathrooms, clean out the kitchen cabinets, etc.

I need to make clear here that this is something that I have done every time that we moved out of a house.  By myself.  The asshole never helped.  Ever.  In fact, one time, I spent 24 straight hours cleaning a house (the housing office was very hard to clear) and he stayed at the room with the boys.  Then, when I got there, I asked him to take the kids out for a couple of hours so I could catch a nap.  He left for an hour and then brought them home, saying he was bored and didn’t want to entertain the children anymore.  Yeah, he’s a sweetheart.

So, I sure as heck wasn’t going to help him this time.  I had my own house to unpack and get ready for the kids.  I wasn’t feeling any sympathy for the man that couldn’t do anything in preparation of the cleaning and moving.  If he had but lifted a hand to help me,  just once, I would have cleaned as I went as I was packing.  But he didn’t.  So I left him little treasures everywhere.  Stuff that I didn’t want stayed in the cabinets in all of the bathrooms, the kitchen, the closets.

Yeah, I was a little pissed.

Oh, and on top of this, the vacuum cleaner disappeared.  Now, I knew he had done something with it.  He admitted to being the last person that saw it.  And then it was just gone.  To be perfectly honest, this wasn’t the only thing that disappeared.

When I was cleaning out the master bath, I threw out all of his little blue pills and his $120 vibrating cock ring.  When he asked me where they were, I told him I didn’t know.  He said something about me being the last person to see them.  So I said, “Maybe they’re with the vacuum.”

He stopped asking after that.

So Saturday I had to call him (distasteful).  It was about 11 a.m.  He was still asleep!  Had a whole house to clean to pass inspection in two days, bitching about how much work it would be, and he was sleeping.  Hell, by 11 a.m., I had unpacked 10 boxes and put the stuff away.

What a lazy ass.

Then he tells me that he offered his mother’s nurse, Elizabeth, $100 to help him clean the house.  Cause, his mom was of no help in that arena.  She’s so old and sick that she can’t even keep her own house clean.  I guess she was there to ride herd on the kids so the asshole could go and clean the house.

Now, remember, this is the time that he is supposed to be spending with his kids before he leaves for VA.  He could have spent more time with them if he had cleaned anything before the packers came.  But he waited to the last minute and was taking time away from his children and having to hire help, that he couldn’t afford.

On Sunday, Dad and I managed to put the dining room together, had the living room mostly cleaned out and went grocery shopping.  My friends called and said they were on their way over with the couch and chair they had offered me, a dryer and a television.  What great friends!  They had loaded this stuff (not light stuff, at that) and delivered it to my house.  I couldn’t have better friends, truly.

As an aside, I think the fact that I have such great friends really put my mother and father’s minds at ease.  They see that I’m not here alone and that I have folks I can depend upon.  I think that really helped them, a lot.

We sat on the very comfy (and handsome) couch and chatted for a few minutes and then Dad and I got back to work.  The asshole called and said that she needed a few things for the kiddos.  So, I put together the clothes and stuff that they needed and headed over to the house.  He didn’t answer the door when I knocked, so I let myself in.  I follow the sound of a vacuum cleaner and find him in the youngest’s room vacuuming the floor.  WITH OUR VACUUM.  Yeah, he had hidden it somewhere and was keeping it.  He lied directly to my face about where the vacuum was.

I don’t why his behavior continues to surprise me, but it does.

He acted all nervous about me being at the house.  I just dropped off the stuff and looked around and said, “You still have a lot of work to do.”  Then I walked out.  Didn’t give it another thought.

Till Monday.

Monday, my father said he wanted to see where the Hindenburg crashed.  Well, the house was mostly done so I took him out there.  We toured the extremely large hanger that had housed the Hindenburg on two separate occasions (it’s huge, but that blimp barely fit in there) and then onto the crash site.  There’s not a lot out there, just some sandbags around the post where the tower used to be.  But Dad was happy to see it.  I was glad I could take him out there.

I decided to stop by the old house to drop off my oldest’s bookbag.  Well, the asshole was there and his mother, the kids and his mom’s nurse.  I didn’t pay much mind to anyone else but the kids.  The asshole was looking very nervous, but I just figured it was because his mother was there within 100 feet of me, always a combustible situation.

I get back into the car with my father and look up at the back of his mother’s van.  There’s a woman there.  It took me a second to process, but when I had I singed my father’s ears with more curse words than he’s heard since he was a flier.


Yes, yes he had done this.  He had that bitch staying with my kids.  The time that he was supposed to be spending with his children he had his freaking bitch with him.  And he lied to the kids.  Told them that their Nanny’s nurse looked almost exactly like a good friend of his, Amy, from North Carolina and that, isn’t it funny?  They both have daughters with the same name and the same age!  Oh, no, this isn’t Amy.  This is Ms. Elizabeth, but you can call her Lulu.

I can’t make this shit up, people.

Fed the kids this huge story about who that bitch was.  And then my oldest, when I picked him up from school on Wednesday, starts talking about his Nanny’s nurse.  How Ms. Lulu was so nice, and wasn’t it nice that she helped out Dad when they had just met. He went on and on and on.

So, I admit, I did something I probably shouldn’t have.  It was petty and immature.

I showed him a picture of his father and the bitch.  I then asked if that was his Nanny’s nurse.  He says, yeah, that’s Lulu.  I told him the truth.

I’m not proud of it.  But I was so peeved that he had brought her around the kids and lied, repeatedly, to them about who she was.  I can’t begin to tell you how pissed I was.

After I told him that that was his daddy’s girlfriend, he says, “So, that’s why they kissed on the lips last night.”

Yes, he was being physically demonstrative with this woman in front of my children before the divorce is final.  After lying to them repeatedly about who she was.

Yes, he is that much of a piece of slime.  In fact, slime is better than the asshole.

What a pussy way to behave.  What a cowardly way to be.  All because he thought I wouldn’t see her.  Because he was trying to keep more secrets.  And his mother was complicit in the whole thing.  After her husband did the same thing to her.

I just don’t understand that at all.  It makes absolutely no sense to me.  I just can’t wrap my head around it at all.

I would love to visit the universe that the asshole lives in.  Bet it’s a pretty nice place. Probably looks like Tim Burton’s interpretation of Wonderland.

My Dad got home to Seattle on Wednesday and the kids came home that night.  The asshole left the base on Wednesday and spent the night with his mother (yet another day  he could have spent with the boys, but he’d rather be with his bitch and the girlfriend).  He didn’t even leave for VA until yesterday, late.  He was still two hours out from Langley when the boys called him at around 830 last night.

I can’t tell you the hatred I have for him.  For the damage that he has done to our kids.  My oldest told me that I was being selfish for the money that I was making his father pay.  My youngest behaves in such a way that I can’t even describe.  But, needless to say it includes fights every single night with him to get him to behave in any half-way respectable manner.

The asshole has managed to leave me a mess that is going to take months, if not years, to clean up.  And every summer, when has them for 6 weeks, I’ll be back at square one with the kids.

Oh, joy.

I’m getting the youngest into therapy as quickly as I possibly can.  I was going to give up my therapy appointments (I really can’t afford the gas) but I can’t give them up yet.  I need them.  And, of course, the oldest goes at least once a month.

We’re getting there.  It’s going to be a very hard row to hoe, but the freedom of not having that asshole appear every day at 430 is amazing.  I feel like I can take a deep breath and not worry about what is going to be said or yelled at me.

That bitch deserves him.  I hope she realizes that he is a lazy man and will never, ever be able to do anything by himself.  Cause he’s a pussy and has no backbone.  He always takes the easy way out.

I’m well shed of him.

My dad asked me how I liked not having the anchor around.  I told him, “I’m the anchor, but it feels nice not to have the albatross around my neck.”

It’s the sweetest feeling ever.


6 thoughts on “The move – part 2

  1. You are an amazingly strong and level-headed woman. I know that I would not have handled myself as well given the same situation. Also, as we discussed at self-help – my kids go to a wonderful counselor at Rein Dancer Riding stable in New Egypt and Tricare covers it. The therapist’s name is Pam, and I highly recommend her for your boys. Please stay in touch.. we are 2 houses away from Larry & Mel and I’d love to have you and the boys over… they can hang with our kids and we can have some wine and talk. I need to tell you how impressed I am with this blog!!! Such a healthy outlet for you and I strongly feel when it gets out there, it’s going to help a lot of others in similar situations. Keep it up girl!!!

    • Thanks, hun! I’m sorry I didn’t call you before Saturday but I wanted to say that your offer to help me move was much appreciated and I would have taken you up on it if we hadn’t moved it up 24 hours. Thank you, again, and I will be calling them on Monday!

  2. Your road with the kids is long and will be hard at times, but it will pass quicker than you expect. Your children are not stupid and they will see their father for what he is sooner than you think. You are their anchor, you are the one they will take everything out on because they KNOW you will always be there for them. Always. The asshole has shown he won’t and eventually they will recognize it and your life will be easier, and better than it already is. I am incredibly happy for you girl and excited about the next chapter of your life. It shall be a good one, mark my words! XOXO

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