New house, new life, new routine.
Every night before I go to bed, and before I put the kids to bed, I do three things:
1) Lay out their clothes for school the next day. This saves me time and allows me an extra 5 minutes in the shower.
2) Wash the dishes in the sink. I now have to wash dishes by hand (which I abhor) and I hate looking at the pile of dirty dishes from the day when I first wake up.
3) Make their lunches. Again, this is a time saving device. My youngest likes to balk at getting ready in the morning and sometimes I have to fight him to do it. If the lunches are already made, then it gives me more time to do that.
However, if you notice, I wash dishes BEFORE I make lunches. This means that I always have one dirty dish in the sink before I go to bed.
One lonely knife.
My youngest son is a fan of fluffernutter sandwiches. For those of you that have never heard of this, it is a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich. His Nanny introduced him to this sammy and he insists upon it in his lunch every day.
Being mostly raised in the South and on the West Coast, I had never heard of such a thing. It seems to be native to the Northeast. As is the word “whackadoo,” something that I have never heard outside of the Northeastern Corridor.
But whatever makes the boy happy. And as long as he eats his lunch.
But this brings me to my next realization.
I have a routine that is just mine. And it’s a hell of a lot easier without the asshole around. I have come to realize just how much of a mess that man made around the house. And how much food he would mow through on any given payday. And how much laundry he produced every day. I have come to these realizations since he has been gone.
I have come to realize that I love that he isn’t here to upset my routine, to eat all of the food, to make the mess and create the laundry (which he never washed or folded).
I love being single!
I love not having to check in, of being able to take a trip to Philly just cause I wanna, of not having to worry about pleasing someone else in the house. I love that it’s my rules the boys are living by and that they follow those rules because there is no one else in the house to let them get away with anything.
I love all of it!
Yes, there will be tough times, but it is just so nice right now. I’m reveling in my singleness.
And I’m planning on reveling for a good, long while.
However, I have to say, I did have a long conversation with the asshole the other day. We had court ordered mediation for visitation on Tuesday. I called him on Monday and we discussed dates and visitation times. We got it all hashed out before I appeared at mediation (he attended by phone) and it went fairly quickly.
His first visitation will be the President’s Day weekend in two weeks. He said something about taking them to his mother’s house, but I nixed that. I told him that the kids want to see where he is living and what his house looks like. They don’t want to see his mother and they don’t want to see his brother. So, he’s going to take them to his place.
My mom is a little worried that he might try to take them to his mother’s house. If he does that, then I’ll take him back to mediation and/or court and have it put in the order that the three-day weekend visitations are for him and the boys, only. Not to be shared with anyone at all. I’m hoping he abides by his agreement to take them to his place, but we’ll see how it all works out.
Right now he gets them all three day weekends throughout the school year (there are only 5) and he gets Spring Break 2012 and 6 weeks in the summer (as ordered by the court). I get Thanksgiving this year and Spring Break next year and the rest of the summer break. We also agreed that he would pick them up at 12 pm on Christmas Day and keep them the rest of the Christmas break. He has to return them to me by 5 p.m. the day before the next school day so that they can be on their school nighttime schedule.
It’s up to him to make this work. This first visitation is a test. There isn’t another visitation for them until April, which is a good, long while for me to screw with the plan if need be.
It’s my hope that he realize that I was being generous in offering him all three day weekends (court ordered every other one) and giving him Spring Break (which was supposed to be mine). If he’s smart (which we know he isn’t), he won’t screw this up.
I’m sure he will screw it up, but hope springs eternal, right?
If you read my last post (you can read it here) then you know that I have an unwanted visitor in the house. I had made an appointment with the priest on base to see about having him come out to bless the house to try to take care of the spirit. I didn’t want to piss off the spirit with some ham-handed attempt to send him on his way, so I was going to someone I felt could help me.
Yeah, didn’t quite turn out that way.
I met with the priest on Tuesday and had quite a spirited (no pun intended) debate with him about why I was a lapsed Catholic. He tried to convince me to come back to the Church and I was just as adamant about not coming back to the Church. It was a super interesting debate with him, and I did mental gymnastics I haven’t done in a long time.
I truly enjoyed myself. I respect the man, and his staunch faith, but we will never see eye to eye on so many things. These include, but aren’t limited to: abortion, homosexuality, Church responsibility, importance of the Eucharist, and liberals. He actually, at one point, said to me, “You’re a LIBERAL!” Like liberal is a dirty word or something.
I said, “Yup, and proud of it.”
Yeah, I’m wondering how I ever became a Catholic in the first place!
Bottom line, unless I come back to the fold, he won’t bless my house. Seems kinda harsh to me. I mean, maybe he should have come blessed my house anyway. Shown me how nice he was so that I would have incentive to come back. But I think he’s using it like a carrot for a donkey.
I’m just smarter than your average donkey. Or sheep. Or whatever.
So, I looked into spiritual/occult stores in Philly. I found one. Harry’s Occult Shop on South Street in Philly. You can go here to check it out. I talked my best friend into going with me to see Sonya, one of the priestesses that work there. She is a practitioner of Futhark magic (don’t ask me) and does rune readings and such. Very nice, and busy, lady. We waited two hours before she was available to help me.
I can still smell the incense on my clothes.
She was very helpful though and told me what I needed to accomplish my aim of removing the spirit from the house. She then passed me on to this really nice guy who, in her words, “works with the dead, like me.” He was very nice and set me up with some essential oils and candles and such with distinct directions of what to do with all of it. Honestly, this is the first time I had been in a spiritual store, so I made sure to ask many questions (with the help of my friend) and I think we got it all covered.
The funniest thing? This gentleman told me to say traditional Catholic prayers over the candles before I lit them. Wouldn’t the priest get a kick out of that.
I have to do these rituals for 7 days straight and it should take care of the problem. That’s according to Sonya. According to her coworker, I have a couple of spirits that are attached to me.
Now, let me say here that I believe that spirits walk with us. I believe that some don’t move on as they are supposed to. I believe that we have guardian angels that stay with us. However, I am a natural skeptic. So when he told me that I had a female spirit attached to me, I gave him no information. In my heart I know that this spirit is my grandmother who passed away last year.
Why am I so sure of this? Because I saw her after her funeral. Believe it or no, I do and that’s all that matters. I know it was her and she radiated nothing but love, but it still scared the pee-pee out of me.
I’m so not the person you want around when there are spirits in the house.
He also stated that there was a male presence around me. That this male made his stomach hurt. Never a good sign, I’m thinking.
Here’s to hoping the candles, prayers and essential oils take care of that male spirit.
We haven’t had any activity, noticeable, since last week and I’m hoping to keep it that way. I’ll keep you updated.
I think I’ll make an appointment with the priest again, too. I really did enjoy his company.
I hope you have all had a great week so far. It’s all downhill from here! 🙂