The first in what, I’m sure, will be a long list

Disappointment:  (n) 1:the act or an instance of disappointing; he state or emotion of being disappointed 2: one that disappoints

Douche bag: (n) an unattractive or offensive person.

Just in case this was too much for you to absorb (Webster’s dictionary is confusing at times) let me help you with a picture:

This man is a disappointing douchebag.

Yes, this is my soon to be ex-husband.  In the dictionary,  next to the two words up there, there should be a picture of him.

I really don’t know why I’m surprised about his behavior any more.  I mean, this is the man that asked me for a divorce one week after our 16th wedding anniversary because he would rather be with his girlfriend than me.  He willingly put in for orders to another state without any thought to what that would do to our children.  Oh, and who can forget the, “This is your nanny’s nurse, who looks incredibly like my friend from NC,” debacle.

According to the Court paperwork, we are to split the three day weekends during the school year.  I felt bad that he would only get every other one, so when we went to mediation for visitation, I offered him all the three day weekends.  There’s only 5 in any given school year.  The kids need to spend time with their father.

So this weekend is the first official visitation that they are going to have.  The kids have a 4 day weekend and they wanted to spend it with their father at  his new house.

The douche bag just informed me that he was taking them to his mother’s house.  His excuse:  His house is a “mess” and it isn’t “feasible” for them to spend the weekend with  him.

Translation:  I’m too freaking lazy to unpack my house and get ready for my kids, and I moved my girlfriend in with me and don’t want you to know about it yet.

When we moved out of the military house, he had two rooms of stuff that was packed up and moved.  Most of it was crap.  He took the living room (sofa, couch, end tables and coffee table, television, entertainment center).  The rest of what he took was just dust catchers and military professional stuff.

I took the rest of the house.  Literally.  I was unpacked and ready for the boys to move in in three days.  No exaggeration.  No shit.

But he doesn’t have time to unpack two rooms of stuff and put it away?

I’m disappointed for my children, especially, because they have been looking forward to this weekend with their father at his house for two weeks.  I flat told him that he had to tell the kids.

I’m not going to cover for him any more.  I’m not going to be the bearer of bad news.  That’s for him to do.

He then told me that there is nothing in the court paperwork that says he can’t take the kids to his mother’s house on the visitation.

Well, we’ll see what we can do about that.

This weekend was a test.  It was a test to see if he could, or would, step up and take responsibility and put his kids ahead of his needs and desires.

He failed.

As he has been failing for the last 16 years.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but my heart hurts for my children.  They were so looking forward to this.

I hope that it doesn’t cause a set back with them and their behavior.  I’m sure it will, but I’ll meet it head on.

Someone in this dynamic needs to be the adult.  Guess I’m the adult by default.

No one else in this dynamic seems to be able to step up.

I’m sure that this will be the first in a long list of disappointments perpetuated by the douche.

Guess I should get a used to it.


One thought on “The first in what, I’m sure, will be a long list

  1. You shouldn’t have to get used to it, he needs to be help accountable and that’s HIM admitting to his children that hes letting them down this weekend.No lies and to why..the real reasons. They need to know…resentment now towards him is easier to get over vrs later on down the road when they find out the truth. It should NEVER come from you….you know what they say about the messenger. All that said…I’m sorry for the hurt you are going through and the hurt they will be.All I can do is pray and hope it gets better from here.Remember what a amazing woman and mom you are Always!!!

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