Friday Fictioneers

Well, Madison has challenged us again.  This time with a beautiful picture:

Here is my contribution:

We met and the sun lit up my world

Eye to eye we met each challenge head on

Our love making us stronger

But the clouds came

Blocking the sun

Rain fell from the skies like tears down my face

The storms wiped away every happy memory

Every laugh, every piece of joy gone

Killed by the thunder and lightning

We went our separate ways

Never looking back

Suddenly the clouds were gone

The sun was shining

My world was washed clean

And a rainbow crossed my world

 Bringing a promise of better things to come

Advertisements

86 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers

  1. This sounded like love ending in divorce. A not so fun happening told in a beautiful way. I kinda laughed when you called your ex lice in reply to Doug’s comment. Lol

  2. I really like your poem here. Beautiful. I have been reading your recent posts but have not had a lot of time this week to send comments along. I had to do a lot of babysitting for my little grandchildren this week so my daughter could serve jury duty. It has lasted all week so not a lot of time to write or get on the computer.

    • Well thank you for reading! I understand about life being crazy – been a nuts week for me, too! I’m sure that the time spent with your grandchildren was a lot of fun for you! I wish we lived closer to my parents (they are 3000 miles away) so that they could spend more time with my kids! Thank you for the compliment on the poem. I really appreciate it and I appreciate you reading!

  3. I love this poem, its cyclical rythm; and the rain analogy. Yes, even in love, you get up after a fall, brush off and move on for another sunny day. Thank you. Mine is here:

  4. I really liked this. For me it describes a chance meeting with a total stranger, a shared short interlude making a memory to reflect upon down the road….

    • Thank you for reading it! A friend of mine used to say, “After the storm comes rainbows.” Just have to ride out the storm. Life is too short to worry about the rain that has already passed. Thanks for stopping by!

  5. I’ll be honest. I am not a fan of poetry and I tend to skip over it in Friday Fiction, but Madison’s new rules say I owe you a read, so here I am and I’ll do my best with a genre I’m not familiar with.
    I thought your depiction of early love turning into storms was beautiful and heartbreaking. I want to read the last few lines as a return to happiness with the same person, but the comments and your replies suggest it’s a moving on to brighter things in the future. Either way, I’m glad you leave us with hope.
    Personally, I think I’d have preferred “Rain fell like tears down my face” instead of the “from the skies words” as it would seem more of a metaphor, in line with the rest of the piece, but I don’t know how that fits with the shape of your poem.

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fiction-the-lie-of-the-land/

    • Thank you for reading, even if it was imposed by Madison 🙂 Actually, very good feedback. I am an organic writer and don’t generally go back and read what I wrote (I hate doing that), so it’s nice to hear other people’s takes on what I wrote. And, yes, I am moving on without him to a much brighter future than I would have had with him (while he moves on with a woman that looks like Mr. Ed was her father….good luck to her). But poetry is great because you can get what you want or need from a given piece without prejudice. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading. I really appreciate it.

      • No, no worries. I don’t like to read poetry normally, either. This is only the third poem I’ve ever written and it doesn’t even feel like poetry for me. FF is helping me to explore places I would have never gone in my writing and I’m glad of the feedback!

  6. Pretty autobiographic. But nicely tuned. Are you watching “The Good Wife”? Very well written take on the wronged woman getting a life of her own. Good luck with yours. Bring it on!
    Laura Lindaura

  7. Dear Forgotten,
    Your poem reminded me of one I wrote long ago (and almost used with this prompt). Here tis
    WAITING FOR THAT RAINBOW

    It’s been cloudy for a long time,
    and I’m not talking about the sky
    It might get worse before it gets any better,
    but one of these days we’re gonna see the sunshine

    Everyday seems like the same old drag
    There should be more than to life this to life
    But I keep on dreaming, keep on believing
    that one of these days we’re gonna see the sunshine

    It’s so easy to feel pessimistic
    when it always rains on your parade,
    but there’s a new wind blowin’, I can feel a change comin’
    and one of these days we’re gonna see the sunshine

    I asked the Good Lord for the forecast,
    and He gave me this reply
    Keep looking for the blue sky, waiting for the rainbow,
    cause one of these days you’re gonna see the sunshine

    • Thank you! I am in awe of those of you that can come up with a story in just 100 words. Poetry seems to be what I can do with that limit! 😉 Thanks for your comment and I loved yours!

    • Thank you for the comment. It was a bit stormy, especially at the end. I’m glad it was relatable to you, kinda. Not glad you went through that, though. Thank you for stopping by!

      • Thanks, and its not all that hard as long as you can keep from too much detail or whatever you find that works– I’m still learning! Mine is keeping down detail and dialogue. I actually exceeded 100 words! I really look forward to reading your story or poetry next week!

  8. I’m glad you were able to take such hope and a feeling of renewal from the image 🙂
    If I have one suggestion, it’s to try and vary your word choice. I apologize if it was deliberate, but “My world was washed clean/And a rainbow crossed my world” threw me off because “world” was used twice (there was an double instance of “met” earlier on as well). Possibly “a rainbow crossed my path” or maybe reusing “skies” here would be less jarring. Best, Stacey

    • Thank you! I noticed that after I published the post. I would definitely have made the changes you mentioned. I pound it out and then just throw it out there. I need to remember to polish it first! Thanks for the input!

      • as things were growing dim, you had the poem centered and the lines were getting more narrow, like her hope was dwindling too. then when things were getting more positive, the lines were expanding, as her hope was growing. intentional? no?

  9. I’m not sure that I’ve been to your blog before. What a treat! Some say we can’t truly enjoy the sweet without the of bitter…and the pleasure without the pain. Your poem illustrated that very well. Thank you for sharing.

    ~Susan

  10. I really like this and can relate to it. The period before and during a divorce can be very stormy, but isn’t it wonderful when that rainbow finalls shows?

  11. A nice poem. I’m not used to reading something so optimistic so this was a nice turn. I especially liked the physical layout of the lines and how they form a shape. I don’t know if that was intentional or not but it adds interest to the poem and gives a structure to the reading.

    • Thank you for reading. No, the structure wasn’t intentional and I had no idea that folks even looked at that until Sunday! I’m really new to writing poetry, so I’m going by feel. Thank you for the nice compliment. I sincerly appreciate it!

  12. You’re “new to writing poetry”?! Well, some things can’t be “taught.” Obviously, you are an inherently talented poet!

Would love to hear your comments/questions/suggestions! Leave one below!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s