Yes, son, that is a vibrator

If you do not wish to hear about my sex life or my vibrators, please stop reading now. 

 

You have been warned 🙂

I am a single woman who enjoys sex, whether with a man or (if none is available) with herself.  As such, I have a couple of Battery Operated Boyfriends, more commonly called BOBs.

My collection is currently very small because I threw out the toys that I shared with the asshole.  Didn’t want to bring his taint into my new life.  I only have 2 BOBs, but they do the job for right now.

The other night I had a date with my standing NSA (no strings attached) and I took my 2 BOBs with me so that we could have a little fun. 

Well, a lot of fun.

I cleaned them up and put them back in my purse when I left his house.  On the way home, I needed to stop at a store and I thought that it would be a good idea to pop the BOBs into my glove compartment before I went into the store.

See, the purse was fairly small and the BOBs are not genteel colors. One is a metallic bright pink and the other is a neon blue.  Pretty hard to miss and I didn’t want any weird questions from the store workers.  I actually had a visual of them flying out of my purse when I went to get my wallet out to pay for my goods.

“Oh my God!  Is that a flying vibrator?????”

Yeah, that would have been embarrassing!

So, into the glove box they go.

I completely forgot they were there when I cleaned out the car on Sunday.  So they were in the glove box on Monday when I headed out the door.

Now, if you recall reading about my Monday moring yesterday, you’ll remember that I was at the clinic fighting to get my son’s meds.  What I didn’t mention was that my oldest was waiting in the car for me to come out with his meds.  I didn’t even give it a thought about him being in there by himself, cause I forgot the BOBs were in the glove box.

Last night, I was sexting (no pics, thank you!) and decided that I wanted to have a little fun with my BOBs.  I went out to the car to get them and one was missing from the glove box.

It was then that I flashed on my son in the car by himself for quite a bit of time in the medical clinic parking lot. 

I had this horrible daydream (daymare?) about my son pulling out the metallic pink vibrator (that was the one that was missing) and waving it around in my car while people walked up to the clinic to come in and get their prescriptions.  I saw them both in the car passing it back and forth and trying to figure out what it was. 

We don’t have tinted windows on the car.

I imagined the retirees passing out on the front walk.

It was a horrible daymare.  Truly.

We have lived here for 7 years.  My children and I are known around the area because we have been here so long and it’s a small military community where we live and go about our daily business.  People see my kids and know who they belong to.

It’s no wonder I was getting raised eyebrows as I walked out of the car with my script in hand.

And I had no understanding as to why.

Until I went out to my car last night to get my BOB.

While the idea was unsettling, didn’t stop me from having my fun.

A girl can’t dwell on the past! 🙂

 

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43 thoughts on “Yes, son, that is a vibrator

  1. OH NO! LMAO I cant help but giggle though. I ‘ve had those moments however…The kids clean the bathrooms and I remember leaving ours on the counter ( In our own bathroom) waiting to be cleaned. oooops. Oh well. Does your glove compartment have a lock on it? hehehe IF you have the need to put them in there again, something to think about. hehehehe.
    I remember long ago when my youngest was around 5 or so he told me that he should come sleep with me cause I have a lot of bad dreams. OMG I was sooo embarrassed. Rob walked out of the room laughing leaving me to deal with the “honey its ok daddy is there in case I need someone but you are sweet to offer”. gaaaawwd. Yeah it isnt until the kids remind us…we dont think about the fact that they can hear/stumble across our sex lives. oops.

    • Oh yeah, it has a lock on it. But I completely forgot that they were in there! Man, I was embarrassed for about a second…but better to laugh about it than be rattled by it! I think every mom and dad have had that moment….well the ones that know how to have fun in bed, anyway! LOL

  2. Did you find it in the end … and yes what would we do without BOBS, have NST not even sure where to find one, oh woe is me … but at least I can have some pink fun

  3. hahaha 🙂 i wanna know WHERE you found it. lol
    i don’t have kids, but one time my Boxer found mine, and claimed it as her chew toy…of course she found it the day i was picking up a friend before heading home from work – and so we walked into the room with my vibrator front and centre of the room. lol

    • Nice! I had a basset hound that insisted on taking my underwear out in the front yard (totally fenced) to chew on them. Totally not cool! 🙂 I found the BOB in the pocket of the driver’s seat facing the back seat. I have no idea what they think it is…they didn’t even mention that they had found it! LOL

  4. Reminds me of the time my kids were playing cops and robbers with the faux-fur handcuffs. Joke, that never happened – I’m British. Sex life…pah! 🙂

  5. LMAO….I didn’t even need to read the post because the title alone made me fall in love with you, in a platonic sort of way….BUT…The added post was great. I can’t wait to read more of your blog. Thanks for hitting mine as well.

  6. Yep. That would be my worst daymare too… Thanks for the great laugh!! I am loving getting to know all of Susie Lindau’s fun party guests!

  7. LOL!!! So funny and so scary at the same time. Like you said, a real daymare!! 🙂
    Came here by way of the blog party hosted by Susie Lindau and I am glad I did!
    Have a good weekend!

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