Bitterness – I has it

Yes, folks, she’s back!  Without further ado, here she is, that woman you love to hate (but secretly sympathize with)….


Well, hasn’t it been awhile since I’ve seen all of your disgustingly happy faces?  The whiny wife here doesn’t let me out of the box that often anymore, but I’m here in all of my blazing glory today.

Oh, and I see we have some new faces.  Whatever.  I guess I should say hello and all that,  but I’m too old for niceties and manners.  Sit where ever the fuck you want and shut the hell up.  It’s my turn and I’m going to take full advantage of it.

Yes, the forgotten wife here is still bitter.  Oh, she bottles it up and pretends like she’s not, but there is a lot of lingering bitterness about the way that that absolute douchebag asshole treated her and the kids last year.

Oh, I know – she writes about having sex (on the phone?  In my day it was hard to do…seeing as how the phone was attached to the wall!), and about all of the great things she’s going to do this summer while the kids are gone. And that “poetry” she has written….seriously?  Love poems???  What the hell do we know about love?  We spent 16 years with a man who treated us like shit.  What the hell do we know about being loved for who we are?

If you really love someone, you love all of them – the rough spots and the parts that aren’t so lovable, the prickly parts and the bitchy parts.  You don’t try to change them.  That’s what he did to us.  He tried to change us and when we resisted, he withheld his love and affection.  Like we were a donkey and his love was the carrot on the stick that would lead us to where he wanted us to go.


Yeah, the forgotten whiner here is full of bitterness.  She ignores it, she doesn’t feed it, but sometimes….well, it’s not pretty.

Yesterday she listened to her youngest son trying to get ahold of his father.  The asshole called back and talked to him for about 5 minutes cause he was at an amusement park with his bitch and her spawn and he was getting ready to go on another ride.

Really?  You can’t spare a minute to talk on the phone with your son because you’re getting on another freaking roller coaster with your bitch and her spawn?  Yeah, that’s a great way to make them feel loved.

He is spending more time with that bitch’s spawn than he ever has with his own sons.  We are (me and the whiny wife), rightfully I believe, very pissed that the bitch and her spawn were at the asshole’s apartment when he arrived with the kids for Spring Break.  He couldn’t at least give them the illusion that the wouldn’t have to share him?  Seriously?  Is he that afraid of his children that he can spend NO alone time with them?

Every single visit the asshole has had with the kids since January has been with someone else.  Either at his brother’s house, his mother’s house or at his house with the bitch and her spawn.  He hasn’t spent a single iota of quality time with them alone, except in the car.  It’s ridiculous.

And then they have to hear about how much time he’s spending with the bitch and her spawn.  Granted, the kids seem to be alright with it. But we’re not.  We are so not OK with it.

Yes, whiny wife is aware that the bitterness she keeps bottled up may eat at her.  She’s working on it.  But, for now, I’m here to stay.  Until she can talk about the asshole without using the word “asshole,” I’ll be here.  There is a lot of hostility towards him.

Yeah, we’re doing fine, most days.  Most days, I don’t even make an appearance.  We are well aware of the damage that bitterness can cause in a life.  There are days that she doesn’t even think about the asshole.  Then there are others where he dominates her thoughts and she sees red.

Do you really blame her?  She has, I think, a right to hang onto that bitterness for just a little bit longer.  He really screwed up her life – turned it upside down.  Dumped her for another woman.

You know, not that long ago, she was having a conversation with a guy who is also getting a divorce.  They were comparing stories and the whiny wife said something about being hurt that the asshole had left her for another woman.  The guy said, “Well, it’s better than being left for another guy, right?”

No, we don’t think so.  If we had gotten left for a guy, then at least we know that we are physically not what they need.  I mean, how would you feel if you had been left for this:

Yes, that is an actual picture of the bitch.  Yes, I got it off of the asshole’s computer because he is just that dumb. 

He didn’t leave us for someone prettier (in our humble opinion) and he didn’t leave us for someone younger.  In fact, she’s older than me by 3 years.

You couldn’t even trade me in for 2 20’s???  Really??

And we also can’t believe how quickly he’s bringing her into his, and the children’s, life.  There is no waiting, no period of adjustment.  Just, “Here’s my girlfriend and you’ll just have to like it.”  He won’t hear any protest from the children about her or her spawn.  His response, “Get over it.”

Wow.  Your father’s love for them is overwhelming.  NOT.

No, this bitterness is not good for us.  We understand that.  But sometimes, just sometimes, it boils over.  I mean, I haven’t been around for quite a few months.  Things have been rolling along pretty well, I have to admit (grudgingly) and I haven’t had much of a reason to poke my head in.

But the kids are leaving next week for 7 weeks, 6 of those to be spent with the asshole.  So, he’s pretty much been in the forefront of our minds for the past couple of weeks.  Add in a court date in the beginning of July, and there you have it.

So, here I am.  The person that can vent all of that bitterness for her.  I’m happy to do it.  I mean, I have worked years and years to get this bitter.  Of course, the forgotten wench doesn’t understand what a great life I have.  She thinks I’m all bitterness and pain and no happiness.  She doesn’t want to become like me. 

Why not?  I’m charming and fun to be with.  I speak my mind and I know sign language: 

Oh, well, I guess I could see how that would be off-putting – if I gave a shit.

I am who I am.  I know that the forgottenwife doesn’t want to be like me and she’s working really hard on that.

That’s fine.  I’ll just hang around until I’m not needed anymore.  That’s my job.  Take the bitterness and get it out so that it doesn’t poison all of her life.  

And it’s a job I do, oh so well. 

  With that, I’m signing off.  I have some lemon tarts I need to make.  They’re yummy and you’re welcome to….wait, no you’re not.  Go make your own damn lemon tarts and leave me to mine.

I don’t even share them with the forgotten whiner. 

Hope you all have a totally screwed day…..means more work for me and my sisters.

Cause you know Social Security isn’t all that much to live off of….and my meds are expensive.

Till next time, bitches!  See ya!  Don’t let the door hitcha where the Good Lord splitcha!

And don’t come back till I ask you to!

Good Lord, am I glad she’s gone!  I can’t let her out too often becasue she makes me miserable, but sometimes I need to use her to get the bitterness out before it festers.  It really has been awhile since she’s been here, thank goodness.

I’m, obviously, still working on the bitterness thing.  But I do believe that a little bitterness is healthy, as long as I don’t feed it (which I don’t) and don’t dwell on it (which I definitely don’t).  As long as I don’t let it take over my life, I’ll be alright.

And Bitter Bitch was right.  I rarely think about the asshole these days and even less about his bitch and her spawn.  But with all of this stuff coming up, it’s coming right to the forefront.

Oh, well.  I have to remind myself that I don’t have to be cheery all the time.  It’s alright to be a little weak, to be a little bitter.  As long as it’s only for a moment or a day.

Because I know that I’m stronger than that.  I know that the Bitter Bitch will pop up less and less over time.  I’m happy she’s here (not really, but don’t tell her – she scares me a little) to help me out, but I can’t wait for the day that she’s gone for good!

Thank you for sticking with me through this really long post and the Bitter Bitch’s ravings.

Tomorrow will be better, I promise!


15 thoughts on “Bitterness – I has it

  1. It’s important to let your inner bitter bitch out once in awhile. You can’t be sunny all of the time without losing your mind (and I’m suspicious of anyone who thinks differently.)

  2. I can so relate. As long as he is alive…Hmmmmmm!?? Well, you know you were thinking about it too.
    As long as he is alive, he will be an issue because of the kids.
    I clearly told my ex that anything that has to do with my kids is my business. I am out to protect them, care for them and fix whatever bullshit he tells them or does to them. Just be strong and be the best support you can for your children.
    No one can make him a better father, but you can help your kids realize, that as much as it hurts, it has nothing to do with them. Some people are just born with an emptiness inside them and until they figure out how to fix it, they keep filling the void with the wrong things. …sex…drugs…..alcohol….Whatever! And…They are never happy. Trust me. I don’t believe for a second that the asshole, the bitch and her spawn are truly happy. People with voids to fill, are never happy.

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