Friday Fictioneers 6/15/2012 – The Watcher

It’s FRIDAY!!!  Woohoo!!!  I can’t believe this week is finally done.  And I get to finish it, as always, with another Friday Fictioneers post.  Thank you so much, Madison Woods, for arranging this for all of us to participate in.  I have so much fun with it every week!  Everyone is welcome to join.

The picture is provided by Madison Woods and is copyrighted by her.  She allows its use in the Friday Fictioneers weekly post, but any other use must be approved by her.

Here’s the prompt:

 She walks this trail every day.   Like clockwork she appears, a small slip of a woman, all legs and ethereal beauty.

Sometimes she walks slowly, touching the leaves and the trees, as if to reconnect with nature.  Other times, she walks quickly, blonde hair bouncing in a ponytail, as if trying to outrun something that only she could see. 

Today, she trudges through, a worried crease between her beautiful green eyes, as if she couldn’t escape the weight of her world. 

No matter how she walks, she is exquisite.

And tonight, she will be mine.

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86 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers 6/15/2012 – The Watcher

    • Thank you very much. First time I’ve tried something menacing. I had a hard time with this prompt and I’m not sure why this path led me here, but I was happy to take the trip. As long as I don’t have to walk with her any further. I don’t think I’d like that journey! Yours was very well done. I loved your last line!

  1. I once overheard a bookstore clerk saying she always touches a tree while she walks through the city, that line of yours reminded me of that. Nice little piece, especially the hint of menace at the end.

    • Well, since you’re guessing, I guess I did alright. I was thinking bad things, but who knows? 🙂 I stopped by yours and enjoyed it, as I do every week. Your writing is so well done!! Thanks for stopping by!

    • I think it’s that whole, “Can’t see where the path leads,” thing. Oh, and a good grounding in stories like “Hansel and Gretel,” and “Red Riding Hood.” have you ever noticed how many of the stories we grew up with were not too good for the kids?? LOL Thank you. I may try to do more at some point.

    • Thanks, Kathy. And no one is happier that I survived than me! LOL Yes, it’s meant to be horror. No one should be able to describe someone that obsessively without knowing their name….

  2. I was so enthralled by the story, this character that your last line gave me a pleasant surprise. My imagination went in several directions from flesh eating plants, to a stalker, and any of the above would please me. I got a perfect impression of her beauty with your words and the sheer evil of the last line. Great writing.

  3. This is an ambiguous one. It could be all about sweetness and light, or it could be very chilling and creepy. I don’t want to think about the second option! But it keeps coming back. What’s wrong with me?

  4. Okay…not sure what to anticipate lol. I like that and want to learn more. Is it a true love she will find or an evil that will harm her? Leaves the reader to consider possible endings.

    • I like that you thought something different from what I intended. I think that’s part of what flash fiction is about. To leave the reader wanting more. Maybe, if I wrote more, it would be a romance and maybe it wouldn’t. Thank you so much for coming by!

  5. Your words paint an exquisite picture of a beautiful woman. Your last sentence twists the whole scene and leaves the reader expecting something sinister to happen.
    A great read.

  6. Appearing, as she does, by clockwork … all ethereal and detached … I honestly thought the denouement would reveal her as a ghost. Until the last sentence. Then I had to go back and read again, only to discover that I am in the same boat as everyone else who has commented. Ambiguity sometimes is very powerful, and in this instance, used to perfection. A wonderful bit of descriptive writing that opens up many doors (or pathways) of possibility. Thanks for the nice words about mine, over at http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/06/no-escape.html

  7. Okay, that was so beautiful, the descriptions of this woman enjoying nature…and then POW we get hit with that last line. Nice twist. I felt a little “oomph” in my gut reading that 🙂

  8. I’m trying to figure out how this little story can have a happy ending and I’m coming up with nothing! I was expecting something totaly different so the ending came as quite a shock to me.

    • I’m glad you were shocked. I’m also really happy that no one can figure out where it’s going 🙂 is that wrong? LOL I enjoyed doing this one a lot. Glad you stopped by and commented!

      • Not wrong at all! For me, the romantic in me says that the watcher is really her lover and they’re outside playing a game. The horror fan in me says that she’s not going to be buried until they’re able to find all her missing pieces!

      • I wish it looked like the first scenario, but when I think about it further, the second scenario is definitely what comes to mind. Which kills me because it’s such a pretty picture!

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