Friday Fictioneers July 6, 2012

I missed last week’s Friday Fictioneers.  Seems that even when I have nothing to do, I am totally busy!

But I’m back and can’t wait to read everyone else’s stories based on this wonderful prompt from Madison Woods.

If you’d like to join in, you should definitely do so!  Go here to find the link and the other great stories from all of the writers.

Here’s the prompt and my story:

If these walls could talk

They would speak of love

Of the cry of a new born baby

Of the cry of those mourning

They would speak of children’s laughter

They would speak of horses’ whinnies

And the lowing of cattle

They would speak of long nights

And longer days

They would tell the story of a family

One that worked hard to make a life here

Where the arid plain did not welcome them

Where the sun beat down upon them mercilessly

They would speak of life

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers July 6, 2012

  1. Very poignant. Tears were definitely close at hand.

    Suggestions: You have love lumped with a newborn baby and mourning. I would suggest including children’s laughter in this lump (remove “They would speak” from that line and adjust “Of the cry” to a different variance in the third line) or introducing mourning in another way (“They would speak of love and heartbreak” etc.). I can picture the cry of those in mourning as a cry of love, but it’s such a foreign (unusual) concept that it feels like it needs a greater anchor.

    It isn’t necessary, but you can play around with punctuation as well (it’s a great way to emphasize different parts of poems).

    If you want to check mine out, I’m at http://plowright.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/fictioneers-20/

    Cheers,

    Stacey

Would love to hear your comments/questions/suggestions! Leave one below!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s