An ending and a beginning

Well, my muse went on a vacation and came back all tan and relaxed (bitch!), but she’s back now and so am I.

Wish I could have gone with her. Instead, I was stuck in Jersey.

 

I hope that all of you have had a great couple of weeks while I’ve been absent.  I actually had a lot of things to accomplish before the 11th, including many handmade gifts for my friend’s baby shower.

I firmly believe that every single baby should have something handmade when it comes into the world.  Let’s just say that her baby is covered on that account!

It was a little over a year ago when I started this blog.  The anniversary came and went at the beginning of August.  I’ve enjoyed writing here and I hated that my muse left for her own fun during that time.

Since I’ve been gone, things have moved forward, as they are wont to do in the real world.  Time doesn’t stop moving forward.  The sun doesn’t stop rising in the east and setting in the west.  Even when we think it should.

The boys came back to me on Sunday.  I missed them terribly and I’m glad to have them home.  They’ve grown so much just in the 7 weeks that they have been gone from me.  They were ready to come home and I was ready to have them home.  Now that they are home, the silence is gone from my house, I don’t have access (too often) to the television and the living room looks like a bomb exploded in it.  But that’s alright.  That’s my normal.

Monday, 13 August, I had to attend 3.5 hours of economic mediation with him.  We discussed many things, many numbers and many issues.  We managed to settle a bunch of them by ourselves (with the mediator) till the lawyers walked in and mucked it all up.  At the end of the 3.5 hours, we were all ushered outside and his lawyer went on his merry way (he had an appointment I guess) with the agreement that we would all meet at the courthouse on Tuesday morning at 0830.

He contacted me Monday evening and we discussed some more stuff.  We came to an amicable agreement and transmitted such to the lawyers the next morning.  By 0930 we were in a courtroom getting the settlement read into record.

By 1200, I was divorced. 

The official seal on my official divorce decree

 

Yup, that’s right.  The asshole is now just the “ex.” 

It was funny, as we were sitting there listening to his lawyer read the agreement into record, how the weight of the world seemed to lift off of my shoulders.  I realized I didn’t hate him (that might have had something to do with the wonderful settlement I got in the divorce).  I truly didn’t hate him.

I pitied him.

Not because of the mountain of debt that he has (at least $25,000 – none of which I’m responsible for), or the fact that he has to pay me for the next 11 years.  Not because of the horrible credit situation that he had gotten himself in.

I pitied him because he didn’t look happy.  He didn’t act happy.  He didn’t seem happy.  Not with getting the divorce – we were both thrilled to have that over.  He just didn’t look like he was enjoying life at all.

And that’s sad.

I was thrilled to have it over.  I’m done with the stomach clenching feeling that I have whenever I have to go to court or deal with him.  The settlement is done, I’ll get my maiden name back and I can start living my life as a single woman.

That’s thrilling for me.

I understand that it’s the thing to have a “divorce party” these days.  Well, I partied last night.  A private, intimate, sexy party 🙂

It was terrific!

In 14-28 days, I’ll have the addendum to the divorce decree that spells out the settlement.  At that time, I’ll set about getting my maiden name back.

I know that my new life started the day that he asked for a divorce. 

But now I feel like I can move forward into my new life free and unfettered.  I dumped the trash in my life and I feel like I can fly.

I know there will be hardships.  It won’t always be smooth sailing.

But I’ll be the captain of my ship.

And that’s more important than calm seas any day.

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7 thoughts on “An ending and a beginning

  1. So incredibly happy for you. 🙂 You have come so far in a year. I know you know that but go back. Read one or two of your first posts — see the growth, feel the growth, it’s all there in black and white! So happy to have been on the ride with you, so happy to have been able to assure you that THIS day would come and you would be better than okay. So happy that it all came to pass. You are amazing, awesome and all things wonderful and I am just that much better to have you as a friend.

    • Thank you so much! I did go back and read some of those posts and I’m so not that woman anymore. I’m not the woman that wrote the posts in the middle, either. But if you don’t grow in your life, then you’re missing out on soooo much!

      Thank you for taking the ride with me! I, also, am a better person and friend for having you as a friend!!! You showed me it would get better, just through the way that live. You are an inspiration!

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