Ok, lady, I love you. Bye bye.

About a week ago, I decided it was time to do a Facebook cleanse.

Don't squeeze the Charmin!

Don’t squeeze the Charmin!

This is much like a juice cleanse, but without the need for all of the toilet paper.

Seriously, though, I had over 350 people on my Facebook page. Who needs that many people all up in their life? I decided it was time to remove some people and to slim down my Facebook interactions.

I took a close look at who I had on there. Some were holdovers from when I was actively gaming on

Does anyone Farmville anymore?

Does anyone Farmville anymore?

Facebook. They were the first to go. I mean, I truly lost my taste for Farmville a couple of years ago.

The next ones to go were those adult friends that I had just outgrown or didn’t really care about anymore. You know the ones. The people that you meet and feel an immediate connection with and you just HAVE to be Facebook friends so that you can talk to each other whenever you want! And I don’t want to miss a single picture that you post! And you’re so witty, I love reading your status updates!!

You know who I mean.

You know who I mean.

Then they move away, or your kids don’t play sports together anymore, or you’ve decided not to do the PTA this year and you drift apart. And suddenly their pictures aren’t so mesmerizing and their posts are not that witty.

Yup, it was time for some of them to go, too.

Then come the high school friends that you have wondered about all these years since graduation. Whathigh school graduation are they doing? Are they married? Do they have kids? Are their kids ugly? (Oh, come on! You know you’ve wondered!!) It was especially meaningful for me, as I joined FB having moved away from where I had gone to high school and hadn’t really had a chance to connect with anyone from high school since graduation. So, when I joined FB, I went on a friending spree looking for everyone I could find that I went to high school with.

But something happened in the last few years. There were a lot of folks from high school that I had absolutely zero in common with. Except that we graduated from the same little high school. Our likes, politics, religion, humor – none of it meshed. But I hung onto them because they were from my past.

Well, it was time for them to go back there.

By the time I was done, I had purged over 150 people from my page. Each and every person on my page, with the exception of less than 10, I have met in person. I have spent time with them. Some of them are from high school, yes. But these are people that I reconnected with and have enjoyed having in my life. Many of them had words of encouragement for me when I was going through my divorce. All of them have are beautiful people, inside and out. These are all people that I wanted to keep in my life, even if only on Facebook.

I took the time to clean out my Facebook page because it, like clutter in your house, can weigh you down. You can be putting information out there that you maybe don’t want everyone to see. Maybe you are getting bombarded with some political stuff that you don’t agree with that is getting you down. Maybe it’s religious. Maybe you are just sick of seeing them post all the fabulous meals that they have or the sick new swag that they bring home constantly and just have to post on FB. Or maybe their humble brags get you down.

Why did I actually initiate the purge? For the simple reason that Facebook was depressing the hell out of me. I would look at the pictures of these people and realize that I had none of that in my life. I had no one that I could call my own, I had no money to buy any swag, and what the hell was I going to humble brag about?

Bottom line: I was jealous.

I was jealous of their lives, jealous of the things that they had. Just plain jealous. No, it’s not a pretty emotion, but it’s real, (to be fair to myself, it had been a pretty crappy couple of weeks for me, which made it a lot harder to look at those folks and not feel jealous).

But then I realized something more. They were not a whole lot more than fluff, the ones that had inspired my jealousy. Not all, to be fair. But a lot of them. It was always about their new things or the new places they were going. There was no substance. No true value. Not to me, anyway.

So I purged them. I cleaned up my news feed and, in doing so, also swept some less than desirable things from my soul, as well. I took control of my happiness and didn’t wait for anyone to do it for me. I spent so much of my adult life tying my happiness to someone else’s happiness that I forget that I can just make me happy now. It’s another step, a small one true, towards making sure that I never go back to that place I was with the ex again.

Without remorse or regret I was able to pull the trigger and say:


One week, two days

One week and two days ago I moved into my new house.  I left the keys to the old place on the counter and walked out.

It felt awesome!

It’s so weird to realize that, for all intents and purposes, I’m no longer married.  Legally, yes, but in reality I haven’t been married for over 6 months.

Maybe longer.

Sometimes I wake up and it just hits me full in the face.  Sometimes I wake up and it’s just another day.  Sometimes I look around this great little house and realize that it’s all mine.

The other day I caught myself tensing up at 430 and had to remind myself that he wasn’t coming here, ever.

It’s going to take a bit to get used to the new normal.

My youngest son has called the asshole every night since Wednesday last week.  Last night, he spent the night at a friend’s house and didn’t call his dad.

The asshole didn’t call him.  He didn’t call me, either, to check on the boys.  In fact, I haven’t spoken to the asshole since last Tuesday.

You’d think he’d want to make sure his kiddos were alright.

Last Tuesday, he dropped off the boys things that were with them at billeting.  There were some clothes, the oldest’s meds, and their televisions and xboxes and games.

He didn’t ask to come inside to see the house or the kid’s bedrooms.  I asked if he wanted to see them.  He said, “Well, I guess.  I just thought you didn’t want me in the house.”  I said, “I don’t, but you should want to see where your kids are going to live.”  He replies, “Well, is it alright if I come in?”  I said, “Sure.”

He walked through, following me, and then right back out the door.  He said, “Cool,” when he saw their rooms, but you could tell he didn’t really care.  My mom said that he might have been a little intimidated because it’s my house.

That may be the case, but he should have had enough balls to stand up and ask to see the house, regardless of his intimidation factor.

Oh, wait, I forgot we were discussing the pussy extraordinaire.

I’m well rid of him.

The kids have adjusted fairly well.  Things are still a little up in the air as we get used to the new schedules and such.  I’m going to get the youngest in therapy as soon as I possibly can and will be making calls to that end on Monday.

But that’s for tomorrow.  Today, it’s cleaning the house and making sure my new normal is spic and span.  I am amazed at how much cleaner the house is without the asshole in it.  He made most of the mess.  Makes it a lot easier on me!

I had my first subbing job on Friday.  It was only a half day, but it was a nice introduction to the subbing procedures.  I didn’t have to teach anything, as it was a Friday and the kids had lunch, library and a special movie that day.  But I enjoyed it.  It was exhausting, but fun.  I’m looking forward to my next job!

I hope you all have a terrific Sunday.  Next Sunday I will be planting my butt in front of the boob tube to watch the Superbowl game.  Here’s to hoping it’s an exciting one.