I’ve had nights where I don’t remember everything. I’ve had those mornings after where I wonder if I could chew my arm off before he wakes up. I’ve had those nights where the pictures tell the tale.
But rarely have I had nights like that that didn’t include alcohol and/or a man.
Last night, has to rank right up there on my list of “Not my best time.”
It started after I had picked up my kids. When we were driving around the flight line on base, I saw this amazing photographic opportunity. Sitting on the taxiway was a KC-135 and a C-17, facing each other, waiting to take off. Now, my father flew KC-135s for years in the Air Force. I thought it might be a neat picture to send him, so I pulled out my cell phone to snap a pic.
Mind you, I’m fully aware that this is totally illegal on an Air Force base. But, hey, no risk, no reward, right?
Hmmmm, reward? The picture I snapped looked like it had been taken by a three year old. Yeah, it’s not all that. My cell phone camera is great for closeups, but not so much for far away shots in low light. I wish I could post it here, so you could marvel at the horrid picture it is, but can’t get it to post. So use your imagination…..it would probably look better in your mind anyway! 🙂
Well, as I was getting ready to snap the photo (which, as a reminder, is so bad I’m not posting it here), a base cop drives by. Just my luck – need a cop, can’t find one. Break a minor rule, and there they are.
So, lights flashing, he pulls a U turn behind me and proceeds to run my plates and ask for my id. They want to see the pic I took which, as you can see, was so crappy, that they let me off with a warning. My children thought it was all great fun and I heard about it the rest of the night, usually in an annoying sing-song voice.
After our little adventure with the cops, we went to the BX. Now, here was a bright spot to my night. I always swing by their shoe section, cause you’ll never know what you might score. I actually found two pairs of shoes, one that I was hoping they would have in my size and one that was a gift, direct from the Shoe Gods.
The first pair were ones I had seen a few days ago and I was hoping they would still have when I went in there last night. Luckily, I found one in my size and I love them!! Can’t wait for the weather to cooperate so that I can wear these seriously sexy shoes —————————————->
Now, the other pair, well, I didn’t need. I truly didn’t need either pair, but sometimes you just have to understand that you were MEANT to have a pair of shoes. The second pair caught my eye and I went to look at them because, well, they were FIERCE. I love sexy shoes, and these definitely qualified.
I checked to see what size they were…..they were my exact size! Not a half size too small or big. My size exactly. They were the only pair of that shoe on any of the racks. Now, in my mind, this is 2-0 for the shoe. Then I checked the price. They were half off.
If I hadn’t purchased these shoes, I am fully convinced that there were women that would have come ninja-like from the ceiling of the store and taken my Girl Card from me. I just HAD to buy them!
Yes, that is my story and I’m sticking to it. 🙂
Now I just have to find the perfect outfit for these shoes. Gotta showcase the hot shoes!
So, after the wonderful trip to the store, the kids and I grabbed a bite to eat and we went home. Now, yesterday, I wore a pencil skirt and sweater set (it was chilly, and I needed to look powerful for a meeting yesterday) with 3 inch heels. As we walked up to the house, I realized I didn’t have my house key on my key ring.
I had taken it off the key ring yesterday morning so that I could warm up my car and still be able to lock up my house. Yes, I know that it isn’t the best plan, but normally I just slide the key in my pant pocket until I get to work, and then I put it back on my key ring when I get to work.
Yesterday, I had no pockets.
I’m tearing through the car, my purse, my wallet – no key. The dog, who has seen us come through the gate out the back window (this is where her perch is), is getting more and more frantic. She is running back and forth from the back door to the window. Her sweet little doggy eyes are asking me, “Why aren’t you in here yet? Why aren’t I out there yet?”
Still can’t find the key. So I decide, in my pencil skirt and heels, to climb through the window. The same window that my dog is gazing out of wondering why we haven’t come in yet. Two reasons I chose that window: 1) it’s the lowest window on the house; and 2) my bed is right underneath it, providing a much softer landing than the hardwood floor.
I push the screen up, then the window. The dog is hanging her head out trying to kiss me as I’m climbing up on the plastic chair (that belongs to my landlord) so that I can climb into the window. I know the chair isn’t the strongest thing, so I’m using mostly arm power to push myself through the window. I give a little push with my feet and my leg falls through the chair.
Yes, this course of action is looking better and better.
I finally got the upper half of my body through the window. My legs, still encased in thigh highs and heels, bleeding from where I fell through the chair, are hanging (along with my ass) out of the window. My dog, bless her heart, is licking my face like there is no tomorrow, making it very hard to breathe and harder still to pull myself through the window. The kids are laughing like hyenas (no help from that corner) and hollering encouragement to the DOG!
Yeah, their hearts were bleeding for me.
I finally tumble my way onto the bed and let the kids in the door. By this time, the dog has all but peed on the floor out of excitement and the food is cold.
I threw up my hands in defeat, put on my yoga pants, sweatshirt and fuzzy socks, and sat on my bed to eat dinner while surfing the internet.
Cause it was just one of those nights. 🙂